New Year, New Thoughts EP 99

[00:00:00] Shanenn Bryant: One year from now, your life could look totally different. And I believe that belief itself is necessary for change. And the difference between what you're doing now and what you want to do, is the belief that you can change. So, as we wrap up 2024, this is such a great time to start thinking about what you want your life to look like one year from now, who you want to be, how you want to respond to things, what do you want your thoughts to be? Your thoughts have probably been your biggest enemy this entire year. And they are what evoke your emotions that drive your actions. So, learning to be aware of your thoughts and to generate higher value thoughts is a great place to kick off the new year.

I want to share with you a way to envision how you can change your thoughts. You know that when you start on that spiral of thoughts, you generate emotions as well as actual physical reactions in your body. You can take such a small change in your partners like schedule or their pattern.

And within minutes, it causes you to have an upset stomach or red cheeks from anxiety. And you've got your, your breathing is fast. All just by thinking about something that you fear. You've been doing such heavy thinking. And that's what I call instead of heavy drinking, I call it heavy thinking because it's about as intoxicating or dangerous.

But if you're in a night of heavy thinking, you can get yourself all in a frenzy to the point where you're ready to pack your bags. You're ready to end the relationship. You've Put yourself out the door already.

You're already thinking about, you know, what you're not gonna put up with in your next relationship and how you're going to start working out and you're gonna show him and then you're like, crap, where am I going to live? I'm going to have to get my own apartment. Why can't I afford my own apartment? Great, I'm going to be so broke and how embarrassing.

Who would want to date someone who lives in a dump, and they can't even afford it? See, I'm just going to scrap my life again. I'm so sick of starting over. Why can't I just find someone who makes me feel good all the time and that really loves me? Well, I do think that he loves me, but I don't know. Is this just me, and he's right, and he's not doing anything?

But that's what I thought the last time, and I'm not gonna be stupid like that again. I just don't understand why men have to be that way. Aren't there any good ones left? I mean, he is good to me most of the time. All he wants to do is go by his friend's house, but I can't stand that friend.

Why does he have to go to that one? It's like he has to pick the friend that he knows that I don't like. The one who's single and of course talks inappropriately about women. That's the one he chooses to go see. Why does he want to go over there so bad? What's over there that he would rather do than come home and spend time with me?

I'm so uninteresting to him anymore. I remember when he used to jump at the chance to come over, but now I'm just old and boring to him and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The spiral just continues all because he called and said he was going to stop by his friend's house for a few minutes on his way home.

Does any of that sound like you? I can actually feel that anxious stomach feeling just talking through these thoughts and know exactly what it feels like. And let me. Be clear, I did this thought spiral about being a jealous partner, but it could be anything. People do this with a lot of different things.

It could be a work situation or someone at work. It could be a family member. It could be your partner. But the heavy thinking will get you intoxicated with worry. And when we do that over and over again, now we have Repetition plus emotion and remember repetition plus emotion programs life's commotion, which if you've been in the boot camp with me, you know what that does.

If not, you should really join the next Behind Your Jealous Mind Boot Camp that's coming up. I do want to make a correction, too, because last time I said that the next one starts in January, but it's actually early February. So, I just want to correct that. But I want you to consider doing some heavy thinking If we know through just experience that our negative thoughts can take us on a ride and cause actual physical responses like an upset stomach, increased heart rate, potential for higher blood pressure, anxiety, all that comes with it.

Well, then why not? Try it with positive thoughts, with positive heavy thinking. What if, in this new year, you intentionally change your think of choice? And change it to a positive thought spiral?

On purpose. In fact, when you feel that anxiety coming on, start a positive thought spiral and just let yourself go from one positive thing to the next, forcing yourself to say, well, if this positive thing happened, then this positive thing could happen. And just as you see it play out and envision the negative scenario, envision the positive one.

What does it look like? This is really great to do if you're in that stage where you just wake up anxious, like nothing's even happened yet, nothing's even had a chance to go wrong. You just wake up feeling sad, feeling annoyed, feeling anxious, maybe feeling angry a little bit. This is a great time to intentionally do a positive overthink, do a positive thought spiral.

[00:06:40] shanenn-bryant_1_12-30-2024_122912: and let one of those positive spirals be how you want to be in this next year. How you want to feel, how you want to think, what do you want your body to feel like, what do you want to be focused on?

You would be amazed what a difference a year can make, especially if you're taking steps towards making it better and investing in yourself and believing you can change and you are worth it. Until next time and next year, take care and remember, you're not alone.