Why You're Emotionally Dependent on Your Partner and the Relationship EP 57

[00:00:00] Shanenn Bryant: Welcome back to another episode of Top Self. I am so excited about this episode. I love when I have guests on and admittedly there might be a few guests that I maybe just get a tinge more excited about for whatever particular reason. Today is a day like that because I have my great colleague and good friend with me, Martina Booth.

[00:00:24] We both are in this same space. We're both in the relationship space and jealousy space. Um, she is a relationship visionary, an emotional artist and I can't wait to talk about what that means. Hi, Martina. Welcome.

[00:00:40] Martina Booth: Hi Shanenn. Thank you so much for having me on the podcast, and I'm excited to talk to you too. And thank you so much for that lovely introduction. I feel honored.

[00:00:48] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah. Well, I'm honored to have you here. First things first though, can you explain what relationship visionary and emotional artist means? What do you do?

[00:01:00] Martina Booth: Yeah, so what I do is I help people get out of emotional dependency 

[00:01:07] Like, I really love to work with feelings. Feelings are the gateway to the soul. Feelings are how we access somebody's subconscious, how we get into what's really going on for them.

[00:01:18] And feelings are also so important in our lifecycle. They drive everything we do. They, um, sometimes run our lives for us and I think there's really an art to knowing how to feel a feeling, knowing how to guide somebody through processing a feeling. And that's why I'm calling myself an emotional artist because it's not really like I'm following any protocol, like steps to do this, do that, do that.

[00:01:45] But it's more like an intuitive feeling of like, okay, what's coming next? What needs to happen? Let's maybe dial up this a little bit. And then bring this in, in addition and take that out and so on. So that's why I'm calling it artist 

[00:01:57] I did coach training and in that coach training, I learned pretty early on that I could not just change my thoughts. Some people were able to do that apparently, but I wasn't. And so, and I started really experimenting with the emotional side of things and I realized that there was so much to that, and that's really what got me onto the path of healing.

[00:02:16] And I got certified in a trauma processing. modality and ended up in this healing world where then I realized that a lot of the people in the healing world lack self responsibility. Like this sense of, yes, maybe I've experienced a lot of trauma, maybe a lot of horrible things happened to me, and I still can take responsibility for the way that I behave in the world, and especially for the, the decision to change things to make things better, to not be that person, And so I kind of thought maybe I'm a little bit more somewhere in the middle and I was looking for, okay, what's, um, what's a good way to put this? And I landed on the emotional artist. And of course the relationship visionary side comes from. just the way that I'm looking at relationships so I'm, I'm trying to really change that because the way that most people do relationships has a lot to do with projection, emotional dependency, expecting the other person to take care of your needs and that kind of stuff. I don't believe in that at all, and I'm trying to change that.

[00:03:26] 

[00:03:26] Shanenn Bryant: Well, and we're definitely gonna get into the relationship part of it because there's a couple things. I think the reason that you and I connected so much and just even a couple of the things that you said, we talked about, thoughts and being able to change your thoughts. And we both come from that place of, it's not just like, it's not just changing your thoughts because we can control something what pops into our head. What, what pops into our head is something that it's just there. We can't do anything about it. But what can we do after we have that thought? How can we look at that thought and say, okay, well now what do I do with that? So very different then I'm just gonna control all of my thoughts.

[00:04:11] We definitely, um see eye to eye on that piece. And then also the way that we view relationships, you definitely are taking it to that next visionary level. But I think in terms of jealousy, we both see it the same way. And how that jealousy is playing out in relationships. Um, and when we were You know, younger, probably these, serial relationship people, where we're always seeking relationships because that's where we were trying to find that safety.

[00:04:43] That's where we were trying to find whatever it was that was missing in us. So we're gonna get into that piece for sure. But I know you had some anxiety when you were younger. Where do you think that came from and how did that sort of catapult you into what you're doing now?

[00:05:00] MarMartina Booth: I'm not the typical person that could tell you, oh, I have, yeah, I have this, uh, history of sexual abuse, or, um, this happened and that's why I'm like that. And obviously a lot of things happened and I do a lot of the deep work and I love getting into the, like investigating into like the root cause of something and like, what, where's this coming from?

[00:05:19] Sometimes that can actually be harmful for myself because I'm not really finding one root cause for myself. Right. So the cool thing about that is that I really realized that, or like I came up with a term that I don't know if somebody else is using that, I wanna say that, but um, I came up with a term ordinary trauma and that's really what my anxiety is coming from and what ordinary trauma is for me.

[00:05:43] What I mean when I say that is. All the trauma that isn't really recognized as such. All the things that can leave a lasting really, really strong emotional imprint in a nervous system that most people would not consider traumatic, but that well obviously causes the same, the same symptoms, right? So, um, and that can be really things like Maybe I'm being criticized too much by my parents, or every time I try to do something, they get alarmed and they like take the thing from me. And they're like, no, no, no, no. That's something that my dad would like to say. Um, like you would always be like, no, no, no, no. When I was trying to do something as a child.

[00:06:22] And then, then that kind of stuff happens a lot. 

[00:06:25] these parts live in us, in our subconscious and. these parts are what later usually run our lives, which is not ideal, but this is what usually happens. So a lot of my anxiety, yes, coming from a variety, of these inner parts that have certain stories and belief systems and feelings attached to 'em, that in, in, in a combination lead to this experience of anxiety.

[00:06:49] The more work I do on myself, the more I realize how much that affected me and how bad that actually was. And I've come to the conclusion that bullying is a form of abuse, so it makes sense that it would leave similar symptoms.

[00:07:05] But I'd also know that that's not the only thing. So I cannot, I cannot blame everything on that. So yeah, I have a variety of things in my past that are definitely contributing. To this, um, not one big event that I could say, oh yeah, this and this thing happened when I was three and that's why it's like this.

[00:07:21] And I wanna also say this here because there are a lot of people like me out there that spend a lot of time asking themselves why they're so messed up if they don't even have a reason to be messed up. I ask myself that question so much, and. There's a reason why, why you are feeling the way that you are feeling. 

[00:07:42] If you are now listening and you are experiencing something and you have no idea why that happened to you, it's like one, one reason could be that you don't remember what happened because it was too bad. That happens sometimes, but it also could just be that, well, it's, it's all of the little things.

[00:07:58] And  maybe you also have a sensitive nervous system, . Oh, there you go. It's enough. That's enough to get somebody into a state of anxiety, for example, you seek relief in a relationship.

[00:08:11] Maybe some people seek it with drugs or other things. And I, for example, and you too, apparently we, we looked, we seek it in a relationship. We were trying to find safety or a calm feeling with another person.

[00:08:25] Shanenn Bryant: This is really where I think you shine and you come at a different angle on jealousy in terms of how we are using relationships

[00:08:37] Martina Booth: Right.

[00:08:39] Shanenn Bryant: uh, it's a self-soothing in a way, like you said, like drugs, 

[00:08:43] but with relationships, and I don't think everyone looks at it that way. They can't sometimes see the connection of what they're doing. So can you talk about that dependency a little bit?

[00:08:55] Martina Booth: Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. I mean, as you just said, it's really like, like a drug. It's, it's like you have A certain unfulfilled need inside of you, maybe, or you, you just have this general sense of not feeling safe in the world. And then this is something that we, we all kind of learn. This is part of our culture, that we are supposed to find a partner that is gonna make us happy.

[00:09:21] I was like, whatever happy means. Happy means something different for everybody. And for me, for example, happy meant not anxious, and, um.

[00:09:28] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah.

[00:09:29] Martina Booth: Not anxious and uh, good enough or like, uh, worthy of the typical thing, you know, like attractive or whatever. But like, it was a self-worth thing. So it was both, it was safety and self worth.

[00:09:41] And so I went out and that's what a lot of people do. Like we go out and we look for a partner that is going to help us suit this. And when we find somebody who speaks to that, to our particular wounding, exactly what we have in the right way,

[00:09:58] Shanenn Bryant: So important what you just said. our particular wounding, right.

[00:10:02] Martina Booth: Yeah, exactly. So everybody has like a very, it's very individual. so when somebody speaks to your particular wounding in the right way, that's when you're gonna feel amazing. mean, if they're speaking to it in a positive way, right? That that's when you're gonna feel amazing and you're gonna feel like, oh wow, maybe I am good enough. Maybe I am finally, I feel safe in the world. And that's when things become twisted, because that's when people say, I'm in love. Oh, I'm in love.

[00:10:29] And now we connect this feeling with the person, and we think that we're in love with them. And now unfortunately, we also need them because if they went away. then the positive feeling would go away again. And then probably all the negative feelings, the woundings, the self-doubt, the unsafe feelings would come back.

[00:10:52] I remember that there were times in my life when the only, the only times I could actually sleep was when my, my boyfriend at the time was present and then I was suddenly super calm and I slept like a baby. But when I was alone, I couldn't sleep. But that has nothing to do with him, that had nothing to do with him.

[00:11:09] And usually these feelings that we call love have not much to do with the other person. They, they have a lot more to do with what this person can do for us, with what they can, how they can make us feel 

[00:11:23] Shanenn Bryant: Mm. 

[00:11:23] Martina Booth: they're in that way, kind of like taking the role of our parent, The role that our parent maybe didn't take. Not necessarily intentionally. I also wanna say that like not, it's not that all our parents were horrible people. They did the best they could, but they didn't do what we needed exactly in that moment. And when this person is, and this person kind of like assumes the role, it becomes a replacement. They become a replacement for the parent that wasn't doing their job.

[00:11:50] And so it becomes this dynamic where we now need this other person to parent us, literally like to fulfill our need. And this is what's taught in traditional couples therapy. We were supposed to fulfill each other's needs. But that's not our partner's job. That was the job of a parent when we were little because we have a dependency dynamic.

[00:12:10] And that is normal in a child parent dynamic. That is normal. That's how it's supposed to be. That's not how it's supposed to be in a, in adult dynamic. And, but that's what most of us have. And, and this is I think, an important thing also, that most of us, this is not something that only happens with. Um, trauma bonding or like it, of course, that's what it is, right?

[00:12:34] But people call it like, oh, these people are trauma bonding, or these people are codependent. Yeah. But most people are codependent, and I think it's on a scale. Some people are so extreme that it becomes obvious, but what we call normal relationships is also a form of codependency most of the time.

[00:12:53] The problem with that is that we have now, 'cause of course we have two people in the relationship, right? So now we have two children that look at each other to be parented. And that's why we have issues because it, it works. And I call this perfect codependency when both people are willing to fulfill each other's needs exactly in the way that they need it, and they're somehow okay with it. We get this, these couples that just aren't inseparable and they're like always together and they seem to be super happy, but they're like super dependent, um, on each other. And it becomes a problem when one of the partners doesn't want to or can't fulfill the needs of the other person. And that's what usually happens because it's really, really, really tiring, exhausting to fulfill somebody else's needs for the rest of your life, especially when this other person is an adult.

[00:13:44] Shanenn Bryant: Something that just came to my mind when you were talking about that, especially in those situations where it's that perfect dependency situation, it also there's no room for growth there. Like there's no room for one of those individuals to actually grow and kind of start being different or become different, because that would absolutely change this dynamic that have.

[00:14:10] Uh, you know, inevitably you're going to change that so I think when, yeah, it's like the less you have that, or, or the, the, the more that you can separate that a little bit, that's what allows both people an opportunity to grow, to get better, to change, and still have the relationship.

[00:14:30] Martina Booth: Right, because I mean obviously there is such a thing as love, right? Love is still thing it exists. Um, I liked use the word connection. Rather than love, I dunno why I, I think because love is so stigmatized and I don't want people to get confused, I call it connection. And connection for me happens when two whole adult people who are not projecting it doesn't mean that they have to be a hundred percent healed.

[00:14:55] We, we probably never will be, but two people who take responsibility for their feelings and don't expect the other person to do that for them when they come together and they meet each other for who they really are. So then everybody gets to be exactly who they are and they get to do what they want to be doing.

[00:15:15] And these people love each other for who they really are. And you are absolutely right with what you're saying, that there's no room for growth when you start. Growing or when you even not even growing, when you even trying to be who you really are in a codependent relationship is going to cause conflict.

[00:15:36] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah.

[00:15:36] Martina Booth: It's going to cause a lot of conflict because you probably not being a hundred percent who you really are in order to fulfill the needs of your partner. And

[00:15:46] so is that what you like the root cause of jealousy within a person? You're, you're really relating to this, this, the way that we're doing relationships, right?

[00:15:57] Yeah.

[00:15:57] Shanenn Bryant: Yeah.

[00:15:58] Martina Booth: Um, yeah, like the root cause within a person to me is the wounded part. It's the need that wasn't fulfilled. It's the thing that I'm trying to outsource to my partner. That is to me, the root cause because I don't think I've said that before when the, the thing is that in order for these needs, these feelings, these, these hurt feelings or maybe these wounds to be, to not hurt, to be, these needs to be fulfilled, whatever, however you wanna call it, by my partner. I probably need him, him or her, like I need them to behave a certain way. I need them to probably not like other people for some reason. This is an exclusive thing. I think it's an exclusive thing for several reasons. I think because society tells us that it is, and that if it's not exclusive, then something's wrong or that it should be like that.

[00:16:50] But I also think that, I mean, imagine that now you have to fulfill the needs of several people at once, and maybe they're conflicted. Like it becomes really messy. It becomes really messy and so it's an exclusive thing. So now when my partner starts to show interest or even gives the impression that they might show interest in other people, or even I am worried that they could at some point in the life show interest in other people, that's a threat because that takes my solution to my, to my, one of my deepest inner problems away.

[00:17:23] I'm not saying this like, I wanna make sure this, that everybody knows that this is not a conscious process. I'm not saying that if you're out there being jealous, like you're not like, oh, I want my partner to be my drug. No, nobody does this on a conscious level. We think, oh, I'm in love. You feel these things.

[00:17:38] You feel, oh, it's normal. I feel jealous. I don't wanna lose it. Yes, of course. But what we have to understand is that most of that is about us and about our, what's not fulfilled in us. And so that's the root cause of jealousy and it is showing up in jealousy because of this exclusivity, because we believe that and probably are to some extent, right?

[00:17:59] That if they stop, take, like if they take their attention away from us, they're not gonna be fulfilling whatever this needs, whatever we need anymore, or not a hundred percent anymore, it's gonna take away from the soothing of our pain, and then we'll have to feel the pain again.

[00:18:13] Shanenn Bryant: it's so interesting because we go to relationships as in like, okay, I am gonna feel great, feel better. I'm gonna be in this relationship that's gonna sort of solve these things. Not, again, not on a conscious level, but I'm gonna be in a relationship. I feel really great, as you said before.

[00:18:35] Now I feel validated. I am worth something. I am worth being loved. I am cared for somebody. I'm good enough for someone else to love. And then it's almost immediately thought, we think, okay, that means no deceit. Um, I'm not gonna get hurt. All of those things. I think one of the, the biggest lessons I ever learned in my relationship was for whatever reason, I didn't, I never thought about it, but like. He is going to hurt me. He's gonna hurt my feelings. He's going to do something that's gonna hurt me just as human to human. You know, there's going to be something that happens where it's like, oh, I didn't like that. I didn't care for that. Not realizing I had this, almost like this vision of. Oh well now because he loves me and I love him and we're together and that's how it's supposed to be, that means he is never gonna do anything to hurt me.

[00:19:36] He ever do anything to hurt me.

[00:19:39] Martina Booth: Right. And, of course that is an illusion and that is also illusion because it's very impossible to achieve. Um, I think it's also important to address, like, why does, why do they hurt us? I mean, what happens when they hurt us? I think there are two ways that they can hurt us. One is that they take something away that we desperately want from them, which could be exclusive attention or whatever that could be. Hurting us or they do something to us. They say something to us that then also hurts our feelings. Very important. In both these cases, the hurt is actually happening inside of us. It's probably not caused by them. It's definitely not caused by them. It's probably already, it was probably already there long before they even came into our lives, and it's just being brought up by whatever they said to us or whatever they didn't say. and I wanna correct myself because yes, there is hurt that can actually be caused by a person in, in like the present time because people can be very awful. But in that case, I would really see if you are in the right relationship, if you're with somebody who's intentionally hurting you and like really doing this, on purpose.

[00:20:50] Um, obviously it could also be, uh, some something that they just do in a moment where they, where their stuff gets triggered, then they react because they're human too and they have shit right? Um, so yeah, that's a situation where you'd have to like evaluate, okay, where did that come from?

[00:21:07] But it's one of, it's gonna be one of these two things. It's either they take something away that you want from them or they're saying something maybe to you that you'd say like, it's hurtful. But it could just be maybe, maybe for you it's hurtful, but for them maybe it was defensive because they felt attacked by it doesn't like, it gets so complicated.

[00:21:25] And I don't wanna get into this details here because I don't wanna confuse everybody, but the point is other people are gonna hurt us, especially when we project our wounds onto them because they can't possibly fulfill what we need them to do, and. even if they do something that we consider hurtful, even then, it's still something in us that's reacting.

[00:21:49] And so it's still out, we still have the power. We can still do our work on that and see what that, what nerve that hit, what's which, what, which one of our inner parts reacted to that and was kind of like slapped in the face again.

[00:22:03] Shanenn Bryant: For the person listening who's feeling extremely jealous in their relationship, what would be some advice or first steps that you think someone who's suffering from jealousy should take?

[00:22:15] Martina Booth: I mean, I think, and this is the same thing that came up when we talked on my, on the, on the podcast, on my podcast when I was interviewing you. Um, it's the thing with the awareness is the responsibility, the realizing that there's something going on in you, that this is not about what they're doing.

[00:22:32] This is not about who they're talking to or who knows what. It's not even about whether or not they're cheating. It's really not about that. So you gotta stop trying to soothe the pain by getting reassurance or like trying to find out what's happening. Also, by the way, there's no proof of the absence of infidelity, so you can be looking forever and you'll never, um, be a hundred percent sure because you can't prove that.

[00:22:58] Track 1: So you can find proof for something to be there, but you cannot find proof for something to not be there. you're gonna ha, you ha, you're gonna have to check forever. You're never gonna be sure.

[00:23:11] Martina Booth: So stop that . That's my best advice.

[00:23:15] Stop that and realize that it's something in you. And so what I do with my clients, and I'm gonna say this for your listeners too, and they can try it out and see how far they get because this may, depending on how strong the, the emotions are, how well you deal with them. You may be able to do this, or you may be not able to do this, but what I always say is. Instead of doing whatever you wanna be doing, instead of checking the phone, instead of asking the question, whatever you think that the next logical step would be, bring it back to yourself. Start S o I work a lot with the body, so it's a lot of somatic work that I do. , bring your attention to your body.

[00:23:54] What do you feel? How do you feel? Where do you feel that? What's, what's going on? Is it, are you, are you anxious? Like, is there vibrational anxious energy in your body? Or do you feel something in your stomach? Where does it, where do you feel it? What is it? See, also, if you can name it, it's not super important, but is it anger?

[00:24:12] Is it fear? Is it, what is it that you're feeling? And then start practicing to be with that on a somatic level. Like really try and bring your attention to your body because you're gonna wanna think you're gonna be in a loop and your brain is gonna be like, out, out of

[00:24:28] control, 

[00:24:28] Shanenn Bryant: place. Yeah.

[00:24:29] Martina Booth: right? And you might be able to control that, but you might also not be able to control that, depending on how strong it is.

[00:24:35] Um, a good way of getting out of that is to bring it, to bring the attention to your body. Like, instead of being in your head, see what's going on in your body. There's a great book written by Bessel van der Kolk it's called The Body Keeps the Score.

[00:24:49] And I haven't read the whole book, but I, and I know his work and I studied with him and I love him, but what I love is the title, the Body Keeps the Score. It's in your body. That's where the trauma's held. That's what the most of the stuff. That you're experiencing is going on, even feelings.

[00:25:05] Feelings are mainly a physical, a physical event, and bring it there. Start, start being present with your feelings, start being present with your physical experience, and as I said. This is something that can be difficult for some people, can be very, very difficult. There are some people that can't even get into their body without having a panic attack.

[00:25:28] I don't wanna scare anyone off, but I'm just saying try this and if you can do it on your own, that's where I come in. That's where somebody like me comes in because there are ways of like helping people to ease into their feelings and like safety is a big aspect. So there's exercises that you can do to.

[00:25:46] To teach your system to feel how to feel safe first. And that's where actually the nervous system regulation that you talk about comes in. Like it's more than just breathing techniques, but it, it goes in that direction. Like we have to know how can we bring ourselves back to safety 

[00:26:02] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-Hmm. 

[00:26:02] Martina Booth: from that place of safety we can actually meet whatever disturbance is in, is in your body.

[00:26:08] So this is why I'm saying try it. If you notice, and so for some people that is really cool. Like when I started feeling my anxiety for the first time, even without any of the preparation, safety work, whatever, that to me was an enlighten, a moment of enlightenment. I was like, wow, like this. This was the deal breaker for me because I realized if when I feel my anxiety and I hadn't worked on the root whatsoever, but when I feel my anxiety, Let's say 80% or 90% of my suffering are, are gone. 

[00:26:39] The resistance to the not wanting to feel is the worst part of it. So I will be my first, my biggest advice to everybody. And while you and your, in a situation with your partner where you were triggered, try and leave that situation in order to do this.

[00:26:56] Like, I don't know, excuse yourself. See if you can get out of the situation somehow. Go to a separate room and then just get curious about yourself, like come to you, come into your body. Start noticing how you're sitting surface under your butt, see how you can get into your body.

[00:27:12] Sometimes it's easier to get from the outcome from the outside in. That's why I'm saying like surface first and then is starting to feel like, where is this? What is the jealous feeling?

[00:27:21] Shanenn Bryant: That's almost the biggest thing, and you know, I just interviewed Dr. Martin Seif, who he talks all about, anxiety, has several books on and that's his biggest thing, you have to lean into it. 

[00:27:35] Martina Booth: Mm-Hmm. 

[00:27:36] Shanenn Bryant: into the anxiety, the fear. 

[00:27:39] That's what's going to get that feeling, you know, get you to start thinking and feeling differently about it. And it's the same thing with these feelings of jealousy because we don't always have to feel comfortable. And I think it's like, I hate it 'cause people say it all the time, but getting comfortable with being

[00:28:01] Martina Booth: Being uncomfortable. 

[00:28:02] Yeah. 

[00:28:02] Shanenn Bryant: know, people say it all the time, but there's a reason for it because that is, you know, it's like.

[00:28:08] We have to get over the thought that we should never, feel uncomfortable or I should never feel anxious, or I should never be afraid, or I like because we don't like those feelings, but just understanding, yeah, this is not a pleasant feeling. I don't like it, but I'm gonna lean into it and let me, me see what I experience when I lean into it.

[00:28:28] Martina Booth: Yeah. And it makes you less scared of it. Also, the more you do this because you realize that it's, I always say feelings and that's, I don't just say that, that's, that's actually how it is. Feelings are just vibrations. It's just energy moving through your body. They can't hurt you.

[00:28:43] They just feel horrible and they, they're meant to feel horrible, but they're not dangerous when a feeling becomes dangerous. Either when we let it drive our car because then it can harm and it can cause have consequences that will not be good. But it also, feelings also can be harmful when we suppress them for a longer, longer period of time.

[00:29:06] A lot of diseases come from that. 

[00:29:08] Like I, I'm very, very sure that a lot of the diseases that we have that we don't have any explanation for, like autoimmune diseases. Oh my god. Is that the body turning against itself? Yeah, that's, it's a suppressed emotion stuck in our system that can't come out. So that those are the only times when feelings become harmful if we're able to feel them in our body and let the energy move through and stay present like we don't want, if we dissociate, that's another way of like getting away from it and it's something that we can't control. 

[00:29:41] So that's also when you wanna get help to, learn how to not do that. But as long as you're feeling the feeling and you're able to stay in your body and pre and be present and let it, just allow it to move through, you're good. Like there's nothing harmful. I'm just thinking about a, a very recent session that happened.

[00:29:58] A client, she was able to meet her fear for the first time. It took a while. We were there for a couple of minutes, like five minutes, and it was like, stay with it. Like, just, let's just feel that. And yeah, heart's racing a little bit of like, and we gotta like be careful there. Like we don't want the person to go into a complete full blown panic attack and like, dissociate.

[00:30:15] But that's what, of course, that's where I come in. But I mean, after that, like, it was a completely transformational experience. 'cause it, it took a while, right? You had to stay present with it, but eventually the fear just died off

[00:30:28] Shanenn Bryant: Mm-Hmm? . 

[00:30:29] Martina Booth: and just left. 

[00:30:31] Shanenn Bryant: Oh, I love it. So many, um, so many great nuggets that you've shared with us today. And I knew you would that's why, we, we had such a great connection because we're both very passionate about relationships, jealousy, But also, um, just wanting to help other people because we, suffered from different things ourselves and really wanting to help other people and like, how can we make this easier for someone else than what we experienced? So, um, and we've done some lives together. I think we'll do probably some more together soon. So make sure where can they connect with you so that they can see those.

[00:31:11] If we do 'em, where can they, where can they find you?

[00:31:14] Martina Booth: Well, um, they can find me on Instagram. I am their, it's called Freedom and Connection one word just written out, maybe we can put that in the show notes and, um, if, uh, if not, then also on my website, of course, um, martina booth.com. 

[00:31:29] 

[00:31:29] Shanenn Bryant: and also you have a podcast, which I'd love, so can you tell them about that a little bit?

[00:31:34] Martina Booth: Yeah, of course. So my podcast is called The Relationship Visionary Podcast. You find it on Spotify and on, um, what's the other ones? Apple Podcasts and Amazon. I think. And my podcast is really, and this is what I said, my intro and I . I don't know. I, I still love that intro. I dunno how it came out like that, but, um, it's really about questioning everything and anything and everything that we've ever learned about relationships. That's my intention. That's what I do on my podcast.

[00:32:01] And I have to say, the podcast also heavily focuses a lot on feelings because what you just said, that you're, you're passionate or like, we're both passionate about relationships and, and our work. But like . My big, big passion is also the feelings and the feelings work and like with myself, with others. So, yeah, there's a lot of that on my podcast too.

[00:32:21] So if you're interested in that, maybe this little bit that I shared here gave you, maybe you're like, okay, I want more of that. Yeah, you're, you're gonna find more of that on my podcast too. So it's not just relationship topics, it's also a lot of, yeah. Emotional and I have episodes about self-worth and

[00:32:38] Um, fear of loss. it's not just relationship dynamics, but everything always connects, so,

[00:32:45] yeah. 

[00:32:47] Shanenn Bryant: Well, so happy to have you. Thanks for spending time with us today.

[00:32:51] Martina Booth: Well, thank you for having me. That was so much fun. And I'm excited to do more stuff with you. More, more projects I'm looking forward to those. Yeah. 

[00:33:00] Shanenn Bryant: Martina Booth. Thanks so much.

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